What is Sleep Divorce and How to File it?

Have you ever heard of a couple’s fight which ends up in one of the partners (mostly the guy) being kicked out of the room to sleep on the couch outside? I’m sure we all have witnessed this in movies and TV series, if not firsthand. And we might feel very sorry for the couple at that point, thinking this will cause further damage to their relationship but hold on! Sleep Divorce is the effective way to overcome couple’s fight!

Surprisingly, doctors and relationship experts suggest that sleeping in different rooms for a certain period of time can, in fact, have a positive impact on the couple’s life. So the dreaded idea of a guy having to sleep outside after upsetting his wife over something is not all that sad and scary for the couple. In fact, it is beneficial for them. However, sleep divorce does not happen instantaneously after a fight. It is a conscious decision made by both partners keeping in mind that they are doing it for the benefit of their relationship.

What exactly is a sleep divorce?

It is a very simple concept When a couple decides to sleep apart in order to get a good night’s sleep. This could include either sleeping on different beds in the same room or sleeping in separate rooms altogether.

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What exactly is a sleep divorce?
What exactly is a sleep divorce?

Although the word divorce is always linked with a scary feeling, making you think that stuff is about to end between a couple. But sleep divorce is not all that scary after all. Turns out that it is a kind of divorce that is safe and reversible and has a positive impact. It does no harm to either of the partners. It does not involve years and years of court hearings or judicial case files that just keep getting prolonged. Having to fight over the custody of your children or any of the traumatic events associated with the traditional divorce culture. 

“According to many couples, this arrangement allows them to sleep peacefully in their own time and in an environment that suits their needs the best. The idea here is to do whatever a healthy couple does. Like have hobbies, eat together, watch movies together, and even cuddle but when you have to go to bed, you don’t sleep together in the same bed and instead sleep in different rooms”. 


The benefits of sleep divorce vary from person to person. The only way to tell is if you actually try it out yourself. If you and your partner sleep better separately, that is a clear indication that sleep divorce is right for your relationship. However, the scientific benefits of a good night’s sleep are enormous. Proper sleep helps recharge our body and improves overall health and wellbeing. A good night’s sleep can help you consolidate memories and rebuild muscle, among a host of other benefits. On the flip side, over time, insufficient sleep can increase the chances of conditions like high blood pressure, depression, and diabetes. 

“According to Dr. Dean, a sleep divorce comes with some major potential benefits: sleeping more soundly and experiencing fewer disruptions to your sleep cycle. Such as less waking in the middle of the night and less trouble falling back to sleep. And the bigger picture is better health overall. “Improved sleep quality allows the brain to repair and recharge and lowers stress levels,” she reveals. “It also decreases daytime tiredness; improves mood, endurance, and focus; and improves brain functionality as a whole. This is likely to improve relationships––not just with your significant other but with friends, co-workers, etc.”

Who needs a sleep divorce? 

If you feel like you are facing compatibility issues with your partner, you love them dearly, but your relationship has come to a point where small things annoy you, and petty issues turn into big fights. Different preferences in your sleep environment can also trigger negative feelings if you both are having difficulty adjusting to each other’s sleeping cycles or habits, such as controlling the room temperature while sleeping. You might be someone who sleeps with a blanket on and likes to have the room temperature warm and cozy. At the same time, your partner might be someone who loves to sleep in cold temperatures because doctors and experts say that a good night’s sleep is essential for the human body and mind to function properly. If your sleep pattern is disordered because of your partner, then you might want to consider sleep divorce. 

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You might get irritated by something as little as their snoring or the way they chew if you feel suffocated in the presence of your partner. Suppose you crave some room to move and space to breathe for yourself. Then Sleep divorce is something you might want to consider for a certain period of time. It is rightly said that deprivation breeds dedication. Because you are currently taking the presence of your partner in your bed for granted. Only when you deprive yourself of the familiarity will you start to miss them. And you will recall all the things you used to love about them at the start of your relationship. 

How to effectively file a sleep divorce 

No matter how practical you might find yourself in such situations, it is never easy to tell your partner that you want to spend every night away from them. Sleep divorce can be very effective if done the right way. Here is a list of steps given by relationship experts that you must keep in mind when considering sleep divorce. 

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  1. Be gentle in your approach. Try to explain the reasons for wanting a sleep divorce. Start your sentences with “I feel like” or “this is how I have been feeling.” Instead of directly poking a finger at your partner.
  2. Remind yourself that sleeping apart doesn’t mean your relationship is terrible. It is a mutual decision to practice sleeping apart, hoping it will benefit your relationship in the long run.
  3. Consider some sleep compromises. It’s okay to sleep together on weekends after an entire week of sleeping apart. Don’t be too hard on your relationship. 
  4. Spend time cuddling before bed.
  5. Consider other forms of physical closeness, such as binge-watching a Netflix series together.  


Maha Farooqi
Maha Farooqi
| Medical student | Writer | Artist | Maha is a 4th year MBBS student with a keen interest in content writing, commission painting and entrepreneurship. Her love for reading novels and watching movies/ TV series motivates her to write articles about their latest updates here.

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