To celebrate Miss America’s 100th anniversary, the organization is going to make some major changes in its judging criteria. The organization is trying to give a century-old beauty contest a new gloss of wholesomeness and relevancy. It is going to try and make the contest this year a “wellness” branding. This will be happening in collaboration with a weight-loss firm and a diet film. But it is still unclear what that really involves. Miss America Pageant 2021 will be decided on the basis of health, not on beauty. Let’s look at what this could possibly mean below.
Miss America Pageant 2021 New Goal
Miss America pageant, the much-criticized and perhaps irrelevant national beauty competition, celebrated its 100th anniversary this month. Like most things that old, Miss America, has decided it needs a little modernization. The pageant dropped the swimsuit component of the competition in 2018. This is part of an attempt to enhance optics by informing the public that the competition solely assesses ladies on their fully dressed looks. Miss America has reportedly joined with a lot of unclear organizations in a new campaign “to redefine women’s wellbeing to be centered on optimal health rather than physical attractiveness” in what appears to be a continuation of previous effort.
The rest of the confusing press statement announcing this new endeavor also contains similarly vacuous, nearly incomprehensible PR-speak. And is, honestly, one of the most perplexing pieces of text we have ever tried to comprehend. Whatever Miss America is doing in the name of health and/or wellness, it appears to be “science-backed” and “endorsed by Harvard medical doctors for optimal women’s wellness.” It also appears to involve providing “life-long wellness education, tools, and community based on the modern science of optimal nutrition, fitness, and mindset” to “the next generation of female leaders.”
Miss America’s Updated Judging Criteria
Again, what this effort is and who it is for is hauntingly unclear. It is to the point that We are beginning to suspect it’s all a front for some kind of cult. What would a pageant for “perfect health” look like? Perhaps the competitors will get their blood pressure tested on stage. Or maybe they will reveal when their last pap smear was. They might even get their eyes examined with an ophthalmologist revealing the results on stage. Maybe they’ll perform a sprint down the aisles. And then even clear a few hurdles while dressed in evening gowns, like some kind of sparkling mini-Olympics. The long-jump is thrilling, but have you ever seen someone perform it while wearing heels? You would surely need to be in “optimal health” to do that.
Is there some type of “wellness” training that Miss America contenders will be required to complete? Or does that imply, as Slate’s Shannon Palus speculated, that pageant participant would now be assessed on some bogus health or wellness measure rather than their physical appearance? To be honest, neither we nor this press release could tell you. Whatever this wellness program is, it appears to “allow optimal wellbeing via established science, practical habits, and strong love.” It supposedly ensures that “every candidate and every ‘body’ may experience greatness as they perform their missions in the world.” To put it another way, ideally.
Miss America’s New Wight Loss Partner SANESolution
This is great news for Jonathan Bailor, a proud #girldad and the creator of SANESolution, one of Miss America’s new cultish partners that looks to be a weight-loss program. In any case, Bailor wishes for his girls to “grow up in a society where beauty is determined by their acts rather than their appearance.” Wait? Beauty? Wasn’t this supposed to be about “health” now? Is it “health” or “wellness”? But oh well! “This collaboration will give the education, resources, and community to assure that,” Bailor says. Whatever “that” is here still remains an unsolved mystery!
Miss America’s New Nutrition Partner BETTER
BETTER is a revolutionary food, diabetes, and body-positivity documentary. It investigates a new, powerful, and uniting way of eating, thinking, and living. It is one of Miss America’s new partners. Last month, it also allegedly debuted in the top three on the iTunes chart. This is surprising because of the fact that iTunes ceased to exist in 2019.
Miss America Pageant 2021 Final Verdict
Given that we’re in the midst of a pandemic. Perhaps the organization’s goal statement should switch to attempting to increase vaccination rates. It should try to get all participants and judges vaccinated by the predicted December airdate. Or maybe explaining the dangers of eating farm-supply store of ivermectin. In terms of altering people’s attitudes, it’s a long shot. But hey, it’s a crisis! In any event, the press release gives an indication as to what kind of “health” the organization would be focusing on. At least for now, Miss America is teaming up with a supplement firm. However, supplements are non-beneficial apart from the ones recommended by your doctor. All in all, Miss America’s new “health” and “wellness” goals seem quite fishy and we can’t wait to uncover the hidden mystery behind this new change.